Mea culpa

I have been feeling bad lately about being so lax about updating the blog. Now that the website for Cuirim Outreach is up and running, I have really gotten lazy. The blog was originally meant as a way to keep everyone updated with the latest in Nogales, Mexico and when I returned to the U.S., I was not actively engaged in ministry in Mexico and therefore didn't think to continue to blog.

Friends in the U.S. who eagerly followed the blog and email updates of Cuirim Outreach have asked me repeatedly to share about the ministry with Hispanics that has blossomed since I have returned to Lynchburg. I think that it is a good idea but I haven't been intentional in this. If you have been following the blog over the last two years, you know that I returned to Virginia 13 months ago. In that time, God has made Himself more and more precious to me, showing me mercy and grace in a way that I could not have understood or believed was possible had I remained in Mexico. He has also shown me that I am more undisciplined than I had previously thought. In an effort to conform to the image of Christ and believing that Jesus was a disciplined person, I will commit to you to update the blog at least once per month. God is at work in Lynchburg as well as Nogales and we will bless His name in all things.

Behold, it cometh!

Cuirim Outreach is developing a website. Our hope is that the website will allow all past and future visitors to stay "in the know" with what is happening in Nogales. We plan to upload current stories of individuals and families in the neighborhood along with pictures so everyone in the U.S. can feel more connected with Mexico and each other.

Brian Morykon, a friend in Lynchburg, Virginia, has been building the site in his spare time and will soon teach me how to maintain the site. Hopefully, the website will be up by the end of this month. Once it is up and running, this blog will be incorporated into the website.

Stay tuned....

Christmas in January

Hi folks -

This is going to be a quick update on my trip to the Cuirim House in January. I went to deliver Christmas shoe boxes for the children who eat at the Kid's Cafe. It was great to be back and I found that I easily got back into speaking Spanish. The weather was great, the food was fantastic and the fellowship was sweet. I really do miss my friends in Mexico.

We had about 200 shoe boxes filled with toys, crayons, little toys, candies and other goodies. We were especially happy that so many people made boxes for teens. Miguel, the cook for the Kid's Cafe, took a break for a picture as the Christmas shoe boxes began to pile up inside the Kid's Cafe.


The kids lined up who had just finished eating and participating in a Bible story.
They lined up boys in one line and girls in another. We had already arranged the boxes by gender and age group so they could be more smoothly distributed. The kids eagerly accepted their boxes with a thank you. The children arrayed themselves all over the property as they opened their boxes to enjoy the gifts inside.







The 3 week trip was primarily to deliver the Christmas boxes and to help the ministry plan for the summer work projects. However, another reason that I went was to listen intently to God as to whether I should return to the work in Nogales after the job I was offered in Virginia did not materialize. To be completely honest, I arrived in Nogales expecting God to be very clear with me that I should return to Nogales. In my mind, I had already been figuring how to tie up loose ends back in Virginia and had a tentative renter for my house. While in Nogales, Ramon, the pastor of the Mexican church, officially requested by letter that I work with them again. All external signs seem to point to Nogales. However, to my surprise, the answer from God was to wait some more. So, that is what I will do.

A door opening to reach out to Hispanics in Lynchburg

The last post mentioned that I have been getting connected to local Spanish-speaking people in Lynchburg. I see this as a direct result of a desire in my heart even before I left for Mexico in June 2007. I have known that when I return to Lynchburg, I wanted to use my newly acquired Spanish language and awareness of Mexican culture to tell people about Jesus and to help them adjust to living in the U.S.

God has been opening doors for me to get connected with families here who are having trouble speaking English and navigating our culture. Not a day goes by without a phone conversation or a personal meeting with local Latinos asking for help. I have helped families figure out medical forms and accompanied a family to the local health department and I translated for them. Mostly, I seem to be going to court with Latinos who have been charged with driving without a license and translating for them with their attorneys. Given that going to court can be scary when you understand English, I think it is terrifying for Latinos. You need to understand that the justice system in Mexico is not particularly just (but it is changing for the better). Mexico's system of law clearly states that the accused is guilty until proven innocent. This is directly the opposite of what we have in the United States: Here, you are innocent until proven guilty. Historically, Mexicans have been abused by the courts and police and so they carry this fear and thinking with them to the U.S.

Lately, I have helped two families figure out excessive charges on phone bills and was able to save one family $387 due to an error by the phone company. They don't know that they have rights as consumers. In Mexico, they are frequently taken advantage of by government or corporations and they don't know that they have other options. I have helped to explain how DMV works and to point out where they are in violation of Virginia traffic law. When I return from Mexico in early February, I will offer to show people how to use the local bus system.

My church was able to pay the rent for one family who have no income after the father was laid off from his job. This family was also helped with food and milks and diapers for their newborn and toddler by two individuals in my church.

After having known and helped different Latino families or individuals, I have started to be invited into their trailers and apartments to visit. This is huge and a privilege and I believe it is a result of a growing trust that they have in me. God has opened the door to share new life in Jesus Christ several times. I was actually invited to have dinner with one family and I felt like I was back in Nogales, supping with friends! The father, Lucas, was very interested in my church and that opened the door for a great conversation that one doesn't have to "clean up" one's life before God will have anything to do with you. This is a common misconception about God. When we respond to God's love, he will show us what we need to submit to him to be changed or cleaned by him. Our job is to obey and give up what he says to give up. God's job is to make us into new people with his heart. Remember that all of our right acting to make God happy is like soiled, dirty rags to him. You just can't be clean enough; it's impossible. BUT, he will do the cleaning and changing and re-making of our lives if we let him.


Thank God for this opportunity to commune with Latinos and to help them adjust to the U.S. Thank God for reaching out to them through us. Often the families have offered money to pay for gasoline or my time. I refuse the money because I want a wide open door to develop relationships with these families and I am aware of some Americans who help but at a high financial price. Pray that the doors keep opening.

What I've been up to and what's around the corner

I have been home for about three months now. I think I have made as good an adjustment as is possible. I was asked by a friend recently to post about my time at home so everyone stay in the know. Here is the Cliff notes version:

Upon returning home, it looked like I had a job lined up with my previous employer. I interviewed for a position as a probation officer and was offered the position at the end of the interview. I accepted and my hire packet was forwarded to Richmond for final approval. While waiting for all the approval signatures, the Governor of Virginia instructed all state offices to suspend all hiring in process due to the current financial problems that state is experiencing. What seemed like a sure thing from God was removed as an option for work. So, I continued to look for employment. I have applied at a number of places with no success. I am now pursuing the option of substitute teaching for the Lynchburg City School system and that seems promising.

In the meantime, I have been volunteering at a local elementary school with ESL students, helping local Mexican immigrants with reading/speaking English and translating for them in various settings. I have also been doing some computer work for Cuirim Outreach and am working with another person to develop a website for Cuirim Outreach. I have been annoyed and then accepting of the uncertain situation I am in currently. It is very much a time of learning for me and I believe that God is using this time to refine my character. Even with the uncertainty, it seems to me that God wants me to wait and be patient for what he is doing with my life. And, instead of being pushy like I usually am, I am getting a little better at waiting.

To that end, it seems like a good idea to make a return visit to Nogales from January 14 through February 4. I will be helping to distribute the Christmas shoe boxes to the kids in Nogales as well as working a bit on the drug rehab center and watching for ministry opportunities to our neighbors in Nogales. I also hope to visit an orphanage south of Nogales.

Please pray for my time in Nogales. I am still trying to figure out what God is doing specifically with me and I believe that my trip to Nogales will move me toward a better understanding of what I should be doing in 2009. If you want to donate any money toward the costs of this trip, you can make a check payable to Cuirim Outreach, Inc. with my name in the memo line.

Thanks for praying for me and for caring about Nogales.

The Train of Death

This is a blog about our ministry in Mexico which includes an outreach to deported men and women in Nogales who have nothing and very little hope. I have been working on a story about this aspect of the ministry when I found the following interview on line at the website motherjones.com. This is really the beginning of the story that ends with deportation so I start with the story of how many illegals risk their lives to come to the U.S. This is an excerpt from the story:


The Train of Death: Migrants riding freights north from Central America risk their lives to reach the U.S.

by Lisa Wong Macabasco

Los Angeles Times reporter Sonia Nazario exemplifies the adage about “learning by doing.” In reporting a series that eventually won her paper two Pulitzer Prizes, Nazario spent five years hopping freight trains through Mexico, re-tracing the dangerous route from Honduras to the United States taken by a teenager named Enrique, who endured unimaginable hardship to reach his mother in the United States.

Thousands of parents and children make similar journeys each year, lacking the money to make it north from Central America except by clinging to the tops and sides of trains. Dodging Mexican immigration authorities, they must jump on and off the moving cars, which they call, generically, El Tren de la Muerte (the Train of Death).

Nazario's book based on the series, Enrique’s Journey, centers around an intimate portrait of Enrique and his mother, Lourdes, but it's also a larger story of broken families, poverty, and immigration, and the world of undocumented workers.

Mother Jones: What motivated you to write about the journeys of Central American migrants to the U.S.?

Sonia Nazario: In the late 1990s, one morning my housecleaner, who like me is Hispanic, told me about the four children she had left behind in Guatemala; how she hadn’t seen them in 12 years; how the youngest girl was one year old when she left. She left because her husband had left, and she simply couldn’t feed them. They would ask for food, and she couldn’t give it to them.
I was struck by the choice that women like my housecleaner make every day to walk away from their children and not see them for years on end in order to help them. I learned how often their children would become desperate to see them and would set off on their own to come find them in the United States. Some of them were as young as seven years old, coming up through Mexico the only way they could with no money, which was clinging to the tops and sides of freight trains. I thought it was an amazing story. I wanted to show how the face of immigration to the United States is changing. Most people think of illegal immigration as overwhelmingly male, and that has changed.

MJ: How did you meet Enrique and why did you think he was the best main character for the story?

SN: I knew that among the thousands of children who come into the U.S. alone without a parent each year that the average age of a child who’s caught is 15, and typically they’re boys. That’s what I was looking for. I knew that I couldn’t start in Central America and follow a child all the way up to Mexico because it would be too difficult and dangerous to stick with one kid. It would probably be impossible because they run from all these different dangers. I wanted to find a 15-year-old boy who had made it as far as the Mexico-U.S. border, but was still on the Mexican side, spend time with them and hope they reach their destination, debrief them on everything they had been through trying to make it through Mexico, and then go back and retrace their journey and try to flesh out the story in that way. So I starting calling all these churches and shelters on the Mexican side of the U.S. border, along these 2,000 miles, saying this is what I’m looking for, if you have somebody like that today. A nun at a church in Nuevo Laredo, which is across the border from Laredo, Texas, said, “Let me put this boy on the line,” and I spoke with Enrique. His story seemed typical, in terms of the harrowing things that I heard from so many children who had come up on the freight trains from Mexico. And he agreed to do it. He was very honest and forthright.

MJ: How did you prepare for the journey? Did you do any physical training?

SN: Not enough. I prepared in terms of interviewing in both INS jails that hold immigrant children and detention centers and immigrant schools in Los Angeles and elsewhere. I interviewed dozens and dozens of children who had made this journey, and I really tried to understand where they went, what were the dangers and possible pitfalls. I tried to understand the highs and lows of the journey. All along the way, these kids experienced incredible acts of cruelty but also equally amazing acts of kindness. I tried to really understand every element of the journey, and then I tried to build in as many safeguards as possible. I remember being in one detention center for immigrant children in Texas and hearing about what these kids had been through, including an 11-year-old Honduran boy saying he’d seen five people mutilated on the train as he was coming up through Mexico. I remember the director of shelter telling me, “These children set off not understanding what they’re getting themselves into, but you now fully realize the dangers. You would only make the journey on these trains out of sheer stupidity.” I had to concede that he had a point. I obtained a letter from a newspaper colleague who had connections from the personal assistant to the president of Mexico asking that I be treated well while I was in Mexico. That kept me out of jail three times. I got an armed immigrant rights group in southern Mexico -- which is the most dangerous part because there the trains are controlled by gangs -- to accompany me on the trains. I obtained permission from all four train companies that operate up the length of Mexico, and I would meet with the conductors so at least they knew I was on board. I had a signal to wear a red jacket that I had strapped around my waist and would tell the conductors to try to look back occasionally and if they ever saw me waving madly, then something really bad was about to happen, so they can try to do something. I took as many precautions as I could, but it was quite tense and dangerous at times.

MJ: Did you ever have to wave your jacket?

SN: No, but I had many close calls. Usually bad things happen so quickly that you don’t have time to wave a jacket. I remember on one of my first rides through the southernmost state of Mexico, Chiapas, it was raining and I was on a fuel tanker, and people had warned me about a lot of the different dangers -- the gangsters, the bandits, the corrupt cops, all the things that can maim or kill you along the way. But they had not warned me about the tree branches that are alongside the train. In the middle of the night, people started screaming from the front of the train: “Brama (branch)!” I didn’t quite understand what was happening. The branch hit me squarely in the face, and it sent me sprawling back. I was able to grab a rail on the train, but almost fell off. I later learned that a teenager on the car behind me had been hit by the same branch and plucked off the train, and people didn’t know if he had survived or not. The train often as it’s in motion produces a sucking wind underneath and pulls you into the wheels. It took many months of therapy after I got back to not have a recurring nightmare of somebody running after me on top of the train trying to rape me.

After the branch incident, I wondered, was that too close for comfort? I had a migrant try to grab me on a train, and I was able to run away. That was pretty scary. I had a train derail right in front of mine. I had heard many stories about train derailments and how migrants would be tossed off the train, crushed under the cars or buried alive in sand inside the hoppers. I felt in constant danger and constantly looking out for people who could hurt me. In Chiapas, in southern Mexico, even when riding with six armed members of this immigration rights group, and they had AK-47s and shotguns, there were gangsters on top of the trains who were still robbing people at knife point at the back end of my train. The danger was always very real, when you would have gangsters lurking around the train stations with machetes. Another day I was interviewing people along a river in Oaxaca, southern Mexico, and I interviewed a girl who described being raped in the exact spot I had been in a day earlier. There were a lot of moments where I felt I was a little too close for comfort. But, as a journalist, I wanted to put people on top of the train next to the boy I was writing about, to really feel what it was like to ride alongside him, and experience everything he experienced with all their senses. I felt that to do that, I had to make this journey.

As much as I experienced cold and heat and exhaustion, at the end of a long ride, I would get off the train, go to a hotel, shower, eat and sleep. Many of these immigrant children spend months and months trying to get through Mexico on these trains. They’re deported, and they have to try again. They sleep in trees or tall grass by the tracks. They sip from puddles of water along the tracks. What I went through which left me nearly broken only gave me a glimmer of what these children go through, which is truly amazing.

MJ: You took Enrique’s route more than once – how did subsequent journeys differ from the first?

SN: I realized when I went back the second time to retrace the train route that as much as I was moved by the horrible things that happen to these kids along the way, I was equally moved by the incredible acts of kindness that these children experience along the tracks. I sought out people who help migrants. For example, in Vera Cruz in south central Mexico, there are people along the tracks who are incredibly poor and live on a dollar a day, and tortillas and beans, and barely have enough to feed their own children. Yet they come out to the tracks. They’ve seen how hungry and miserable these immigrants are. They have a tradition of coming out to the tracks, maybe 20 or 30 people in a small village, running out as the train is passing and throwing tortillas or beans or water. If they don’t have any of those, they come out and say a prayer. It’s unbelievably moving, and I had never seen faith practiced in that way.

I sought out that more than the horrific things that happened to migrants along the way -- the gangster who rob and rape them, the bandits who do the same, the corrupt cops who deport them back to Guatemala. I had focused before a lot on the train itself and how because migrants get on and off the trains while they’re moving to avoid immigration authorities in Mexico, they stumble or fall from train and get cut up by the train. They lose arms and legs. There’s a lot of depressing stuff going on, but I wanted to focus on uplifting things they experience equally.

MJ: Is there much camaraderie among the migrants on the trains?

SN: Yes. A lot of the adults look out for younger kids. I rode with a 12-year-old boy who was going to San Diego to find his mother, who had left for the north when he was one year old. A lot of older teenagers and adults would look out for him. Children have certain advantages because they’re smaller, and they can run fast and they can hide. They also are more successful at begging for food and water. But they sometimes need the protection of these adults. Adults would share water or food, and look out for one another and yell warnings to one another. But ultimately often when authorities showed up, and it was time to run, it each man, woman, or child for themselves. It was survival.

MJ: There are so many stories written about undocumented immigrants, and the points of debate on both sides have been repeated ad nauseum. What were some misconceptions that you wanted to dispel with your story or some different angles that had not been explored before?

SN: I think one of the things that really struck me was the incredible determination among these immigrants coming north on the train. I remember interviewing one teenager who was being deported again from Mexico to Guatemala. He was going north to find his mother. He had been robbed by bandits along the tracks, and one woman in his party had been gang raped. He had been deported 27 times. He was talking about after being deported, he was going to try attempt number 28. And he was going to reach his mother. I found that difficult to get my mind around, the level of determination. When you see that up close, you really question how many border patrol agents is it gonna take to stop people who are this desperate to come. That’s relevant as the senate gets set to debate competing immigration bills that include stronger border enforcement and temporary worker programs.

In terms of the debate, two things that struck me were that unfortunately immigration most hurts the most needy Americans, Americans who are native-born and do not have a high school degree, and that means largely African Americans and previous waves of Latino immigrants. Their wages and their employability have declined as a result of the huge influx of immigrants. I find that troubling. Another aspect that surprised me and I found troubling was that a lot of immigrant women are coming to the U.S. and leaving their children behind because they want to improve the lives of their children. But when they reunify, these children often feel they were abandoned by their mothers and they grow resentful and grow to hate their mothers. Too often, these immigrant women lose what’s most important to them, which is the love of their child.

What a lot of folks who work with immigrants up and down the rails in Mexico say is that it would be better if the United States could improve the economies of countries that send a lot of immigrants here – Mexico, Honduras – so that immigration would not hurt neediest Americans, and these women could stay working in these countries alongside their children. And that there should be different ways in which the U.S. uses foreign policies or trade policies aimed at trying to help countries that send most immigrants to the United States. We must address the factors pushing people out of those few countries rather than simply building walls. The building walls won’t work unless other side of equation is addressed. That’s the point that I heard strongest from people who help and work with immigrants along the rails.

Hi folks. I'm making a short post just to let you know that I am still working on some more stories of life in Nogales. I have many more stories to share with you. The story I have been working on is about Mexican nationals who have been brought back to Mexico by U.S. Border Patrol after being caught illegally. My hope is that you will see all sides of this issue and will be able to make an informed decision about how you will think and act on the issue of illegal immigration.

I've been back in the U.S. for about one month and I am taking it day by day. The adjustment process is harder than I expected but, as a friend said to me recently, for something new to grow, something else must die. I do feel that way about leaving Mexico. I feel like the thing that I love doing has to change or "die" in order for a new opportunity to serve to emerge.

God bless all of you for your prayers and your support while I was in Mexico. Remember to sign up in the space to the right of this text to get notification of new posts.

¡Sale pues!

steve